Monday, January 3, 2011

What Type of Mother Hates Her Child?

If you have had a difficult relationship with your mother you have probably asked yourself on many occasions what you are doing wrong to make your mother hate you.  If you were anything like me, every time your mother did something mean to you, the first place you looked was in the mirror.  Much like victims of domestic abuse, daughters of hateful mothers often think that if they can just modify their behavior it will make the relationship in question better.  It is wholly unbelievable, both to the daughter and to most of the world, that a mother could despise a daughter so much that she would treat her terribly.  Thus, when a relationship between a mother and daughter goes awry, it is always the natural inclination to assume that the daughter has done something to deserve it. 

Daughters are not devoid of responsibility when a relationship with their mother goes astray, and in future posts we will investigate exactly what it is a daughter does (or doesn't do) to enable this type of relationship.  For now, let us stay focused on the mother.  What type of mother, exactly, despises her daughter.  The answer is a complex one, one that is hard to grasp by most.  Obviously, not all mothers who dislike their daughters can be lumped into one category.  Their are many reasons and many underlying issues involved when a mother makes a choice to have a dysfunctional relationship with her daughter.  Regardless of what the causes are, the results are usually the same.

The Unfulfilled Mother

The unfulfilled mother is usually the mother whose dreams never came to fruition, usually because she got married and had children.  Normally, this mother is a stay-at-home mother or one who is unhappily employed.  Although this mother may have been loving in the beginning, as time goes by and she fully realizes how her aspirations have been grounded, her love turns to resentment toward the child or children who stood in the way of her dreams.

The Competitive Mother
This one is self explanatory.  This mother sees her daughter as competition.  Usually, the daughter is seen as competition for the attention of the father or other male figure, but she might also be seen as competition for material resources, or the attention of others besides the father.  This mother usually tries to downplay the accomplishments of the daughter and might belittle her child in front of others in an attempt to break the child's self esteem and make the mother look better. 

The Controlling Mother

The name says it all.  This mother feels out of control in other areas of her life and so gets a sense of control by controlling others.  Feeling out of control in her own life may stem from issues in her own childhood, but in any event the only way she feels in control is if people do things her way.  Controlling people can stem to many areas of her life and it would not be unusual if she tries to control her husband, and friends.  Feeling out of control has little to do with her job and more with other situations that have affected her.

Jealous/Vengeful Mother

The jealous mother may also be the unfulfilled mother, but not necessarily so.  If the father shows his beautiful new baby girl loads of attention and ignores her mother, it is easy to see why the mother would become jealous of the daughter.  The daughter has beauty and youth and the ability to capture the attention of daddy and just about every one else.  Thus, her mother becomes jealous because the daughter does what she cannot do.

We must remember that these mothers can display traits that are interchangeable.  We also have to remember that why a mother dislikes her daughter is so complex that simply dumping her into one of four categories will never do the situation justice.  In any event, these meager categories are created to give a general overview to why mothers behave the way they do.

115 comments:

  1. Wow, I never knew there was a support site for this. I am hated by my mother. She admitted it and evicted me from her life. I never did drugs, I never stepped out of line, because even as a child, I knew her affection for me was conditional or non existent. She hated me from the day I was born and should have given me up. This no longer rules my life, but somewhere its always in the back of my mind. No matter how perfect I tried to be, she rejected me. Now, even as an adult, I am successful, I worked really hard to obtain the "ideal" life she said I'd never have and it turned on me. I really guess I believed that if I could prove that I was loveable by marrying the perfect husband of 14 years and going strong; that if I was smart enough, i worked my way through college and work as an RN, bought a pretty house, cars, the list goes on and on, that I would win my mothers love. Nope, never happened. Its awful and it leaves a mark on a person. Its a source of deep pain. She denied me a family. When I was 17 she remarried another man and I was a little too pretty, so she kicked me out. I had to figure life out. I made good choices and I have only one regret..that I was not born to family who would have loved me.

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    1. I feel your pain motherlessmoma. I found out that by my sister that my mother tried to abort me at 7 months because she did not want her mother to know that she was fooling around with her boyfriend behind her back and ended up being pregnant by me. Well, her mother found out and of course she disowned my mother and me which I had nothing to do with. My mother beat me with objects I do not think a prisoner would get hit with. She scolded me with boiling water, caused me to have 3rd degree burns on the back of my legs. She humiliated me in public and in front of my other siblings by calling me useless, dumb, stupid. She even went as far as to curse my friends out who came to see me. I have a very caring and giving nature and tried to please my mother in any and everyway I knew how. When my oldest brother molested me at 8 years old, I tried to tell her but she would not listen so I burned his bed. When I told the fireman what my brother did, I was looking for a hug or something from my mother, she looked at me with distain and turned her head. When I was a teen, a friend of mine mother saw the scars on my legs so I told her how I was treated at home, the mother confronted my mother. Of course my mother always played the victim when confronted on how she treats me. When my friend mother left, I got a beating I will never forget, I got stomped, pushed, slapped punched, you name it. She told me to my face "I can't Stand you! I never understood why. Now that I am older, it is still that same. I am married, owned two homes, the only person out of 8 siblings with a college degree which she and none of my siblings attened the ceremony. I forgave her because I figured it was because of her past. When she turned 70, I was the only person who took care of her, stood in the social services line to get her medicaid and other services, bought her clothes and furniture for her assisted living apt, tvs, medicine, you name it. She even ask me to handle her finances for her which I did to make sure her bills were paid on time. One day while handling her finances I ran across an insurance policy where she was paying the premium which I figured was way to much for a senior citizen to be paying. I called the company and they told me that my oldest sister was the sole beneficiary of a $250,000 policy. I asked my mother about and she stated that she did not know that was what she signed, she thought that it was for a little money to bury her so the family would not struggle with money.

      The most hurtful thing my mother did to me was metro access called me and told me that my mother did not come to the door for her pick up to go to senior day care, which I arranged, I called and she stated that she was sick. I called 911, whe went to the hospital and low and behold, my oldest sister was there first who has not seen my mother for over 5 years and she lives 10 minutes from her! She was, maybe hoping my mother would hurry up and die so she can collect on the insurance policy. I questioned my sister about it and she got irrate with me so I left. The following day, I receive a court order my sister wrote terrible lies about me to appear in court. She had my mother with her, walker and all in the snow and my mother took her side. My mother even went as far as to tell the judge that I have done nothing for her. I was ordered to not see my mother for a whole year. After that day, I promised myself I want nothing to do with my mother or sister. My sister is pure evil just like her mother. To me, this was a biblical moment because I felt persecuted for helping my own mother. Never again. I thank God I have a loving husband who does not look at my physical appearance but my true self.

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    2. You know, compared to your mom, mine is an angel.
      We may be struggling with internal questions brought about by this kind of treatment from the person who we thought will never let us down. You see, Mothers don't own us. They are just our caretakers and obviously, ours did a bad job at it. I always ask myself "what is wrong with me?". But you, you manage to do a lot of stuff for your mom in spite of every thing. You're sort of heroic that way and I because of that, you will be greatly rewarded.

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    3. Motherlessmomma: I feel exactly the way u did. I am fresh in the situation but i am inspired by u now so u gave me strength to move upwards thanks.

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    4. I have so much love in my heart for you all... we are the orphaned tribe.

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    5. I have so much love in my heart for you all... we are the orphaned tribe.

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    6. I need a help. Please someone help me in that . I am studying in 12th . She hates me for no reason . After my brother's birth her atitude changed towards me . No she hates me for no reason. Even she had burnt me on ma arms . Please someone help me . I want to get loved and caredby her .

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    7. I am 40 years old. My mother hates me so much still to this day and from the day I was born. No one has ever loved me my whole life. It is hard to live this way. My mother hates me soo much for no reason. she is still trying to ruin my life and my childrens lives. I was always a almost perfect child. always listened never mis behaved never lied cheeted or stole or did drugs or drank. always got a b average in school. i was the perfect little girl any mother could dream of. And she hated me for it and still does. because she is pure evil.. Unlike both of my brothers. She always made up lies about me...ruined every friendship i ever had...took everything i ever loved from me ...includeing manipulating my oldest duaghter....whom i was a wonderful mother...into abandoning her little sister and I...and going to live with her. She hates my guts because I am good and she is evil....she could not stand to look at all my goodness and beauty ...because she was so jealous and filled with hate....she never could be like me......I have not spoken to my daughter in two years my baby and i miss her so much...i have tried to contact me ...and it is like my mother is whispering in her ear....It is not you....it is these sick woman calling themselves mother...whom never should have been allowed to have little girls...She has ruined my life with her lies...manipulating...and evil hatred that she will not quit doing it to me...and now my daughters.....I if she knows where i live...somehow she spreads horrible lies and rumors about me.....and tears apart everything beautiful i build for my baby daughter....I will move to a new town in a new state.....every thing is beautiful...until about two months...then some cloud of black evil hatred catches up to us ...and destroys our lives and breaks our hearts again.....
      I just want away from her abuse....and she hates me so much even now at forty years....she will not leave my life alone...to just be beautiful..like i make it....HOW CAN I TAKE MY TEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO A NEW TOWN IN A NEW STATE..AND BE FREE FROM HER ABUSE AND HATRED...AND THE DESTROYING OF OUR LIVES WITH HER...MANIPULATING...LIING AND RUMOR SPREADING....SHE WORKS FOR A RETIRED POLICE OFFICER WHOM HAS FAMILY THAT ARE CURRENTLY POLICE.....how can I disapear off her radar...so my beautiful daughter does not have to endure her torment and abuse anymore...

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    8. I am 40 years old. My mother hates me so much still to this day and from the day I was born. No one has ever loved me my whole life. It is hard to live this way. My mother hates me soo much for no reason. she is still trying to ruin my life and my childrens lives. I was always a almost perfect child. always listened never mis behaved never lied cheeted or stole or did drugs or drank. always got a b average in school. i was the perfect little girl any mother could dream of. And she hated me for it and still does. because she is pure evil.. Unlike both of my brothers. She always made up lies about me...ruined every friendship i ever had...took everything i ever loved from me ...includeing manipulating my oldest duaghter....whom i was a wonderful mother...into abandoning her little sister and I...and going to live with her. She hates my guts because I am good and she is evil....she could not stand to look at all my goodness and beauty ...because she was so jealous and filled with hate....she never could be like me......I have not spoken to my daughter in two years my baby and i miss her so much...i have tried to contact me ...and it is like my mother is whispering in her ear....It is not you....it is these sick woman calling themselves mother...whom never should have been allowed to have little girls...She has ruined my life with her lies...manipulating...and evil hatred that she will not quit doing it to me...and now my daughters.....I if she knows where i live...somehow she spreads horrible lies and rumors about me.....and tears apart everything beautiful i build for my baby daughter....I will move to a new town in a new state.....every thing is beautiful...until about two months...then some cloud of black evil hatred catches up to us ...and destroys our lives and breaks our hearts again.....
      I just want away from her abuse....and she hates me so much even now at forty years....she will not leave my life alone...to just be beautiful..like i make it....HOW CAN I TAKE MY TEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO A NEW TOWN IN A NEW STATE..AND BE FREE FROM HER ABUSE AND HATRED...AND THE DESTROYING OF OUR LIVES WITH HER...MANIPULATING...LIING AND RUMOR SPREADING....SHE WORKS FOR A RETIRED POLICE OFFICER WHOM HAS FAMILY THAT ARE CURRENTLY POLICE.....how can I disapear off her radar...so my beautiful daughter does not have to endure her torment and abuse anymore...

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    9. I'm sorry you are going through this. I am just now seeing this reply and wish I could have responded sooner. Your story sounds very much like mine. My mother tried very hard to turn my older son against me and she came close but thankfully pulled through. You do not say if your mother has legal custody of your daughter or not. If not I would wonder why you can't just go pick up your child? At her age she is still a minor and you do have say-so on who she stays with. The longer she is with your mother the more successful your mother will be at turning her completely against you. It is important that you reach out to your daughter as much as possible and let her know she is loved. Have you ever confronted your mother? Please join the facebook group I have created for us daughters. It is more personal and I can answer questions better there. https://www.facebook.com/groups/256985481155571/

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    10. I am the only friend whose mother hates her so much she waged a custody battle to get her children and won, tried to burn her daughter's house down and has turned every family member against her. I am her only friend and cannot understand why this would happen. It seems against nature, I am not selling religion, I am promoting scientific fact. This woman has hung on by the edge her entire life because of the damage her mother does. I worry what will happen to her, she is so alone and sad. Who can explain a hatred that one has for only one child, to the point of destruction. I absolutely think the woman is evil.

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    11. I have tried to understand it for a long ago and that is why I began writing this blog. No matter how much I try to understand I can only offer clues but there is no way to truly grasp how a parent can be this way toward their child.

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    12. It is impossible to understand. Your story is so similar to mine. My mother put me out on the streets and out of her house many times when I was young. She lied to the family and would isolate me from other family members all of my life. Any get togethers, she'd make up stories so that I was never invited. I blamed myself for many many years, turned to alcohol and drugs when I was 15. Quit after I graduated high school but barely made it through - would skip school to avoid bullying and slept whenever she came home. fast forward many years - I had two beautiful children and my Ex was in denial that my family was abusive and we moved back to where they were (after me spending years of my life trying to get away). They destroyed out relationship and I was homeless with the kids. I wen through AA and other crisis situations, and started therapy. The biggest mistake I have ever made was trying to reconnect with her. My grandmother went into a home, we moved into her house. My mother repeatedly threatened to kick us out every other month even though she had no right. She began to turn my family against me again. Brainwashed my daughter and put a lot of hate into my son. Then she got my bully of a sister involved and her and her so called Christian friends as well as some police officer friend she had against me. All because I asked for help with my children being a single parent. and she has the money, a huge house and probably my inheritance from relatives that have passed. She refused to let me speak to my uncle about buying the house, kicked us out, said we could stay with her until it sold then give me money. Never gave me any money, turned my kids against me. All of this after years and years of constant belittling, insults, lies, etc etc, just hate for everything I am and have done. She started a fight with me, pulled my hair and I hit her arm to make her let go. She walked around for days in a tank top because she got a bruise and made everyone think I was abusing her. so sick. She made my father attack me and assault me. I had to leave my two babies, begged their father to take them so that I could move out of town. Then, she takes them every other weekend and makes them hate me more. After my boyfriend met them he went crazy and there is all this hate between us.... I am miserable and lonely and watched my life completely destroyed by this woman and cry constantly

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    13. interesting I think my mom hated me because the man that got her pregnant didn't marry her and I look just like him not realizing this I didn't find out for years that the man that I knew as my father was not my father...I did not get into any trouble earned three college level degrees, retired military, police officer, correctional officer--and I still feel the hate...

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    14. THANKS TO DOCTOR OSAZE WHO HELP ME BRING MY EX WIFE BACK AFTER FIVE YEARS, MY WIFE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER MAN BECAUSE OF A VERY SLIGHT QUARREL.
      I TRIED ALL MY POSSIBLE BEST TO RESOLVE THE ISSUE, BUT MY WIFE WAS HAVING A BAD ADVICERS TELLING HER NOT TO EVER RETURN TO ME,UNTIL I CAME ACCROSE WITH DR OSAZE'S TESTIMONIES AND RECOMMENDATIONS ONLINE, ON HOW HE HAS HELPED PEOPLE BRING THEIR EX LOVERS BACK, AND I DECIDED TO TELL HIM MY SAD LOVE STORY, AND HE ASK ME TO DO CERTAIN INCANTATION AND WITHIN SEVEN DAYS, MY WIFE RAN BACK TO ME, AFTER DOCTOR OSAZE PERFORM HIS MAGICAL SPELL.
      IN CASE YOU ARE PASSING THROUGH SIMILAR PROBLEM, AND YOU NEED DR OSAZE ASSISTANCE, YOU CAN CALL OR WHATSAP HIM ON +2347089275769 EMAIL DROSAZE39@GMAIL.COM

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    15. THANKS TO DOCTOR OSAZE WHO HELP ME BRING MY EX WIFE BACK AFTER FIVE YEARS, MY WIFE LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER MAN BECAUSE OF A VERY SLIGHT QUARREL.
      I TRIED ALL MY POSSIBLE BEST TO RESOLVE THE ISSUE, BUT MY WIFE WAS HAVING A BAD ADVICERS TELLING HER NOT TO EVER RETURN TO ME,UNTIL I CAME ACCROSE WITH DR OSAZE'S TESTIMONIES AND RECOMMENDATIONS ONLINE, ON HOW HE HAS HELPED PEOPLE BRING THEIR EX LOVERS BACK, AND I DECIDED TO TELL HIM MY SAD LOVE STORY, AND HE ASK ME TO DO CERTAIN INCANTATION AND WITHIN SEVEN DAYS, MY WIFE RAN BACK TO ME, AFTER DOCTOR OSAZE PERFORM HIS MAGICAL SPELL.
      IN CASE YOU ARE PASSING THROUGH SIMILAR PROBLEM, AND YOU NEED DR OSAZE ASSISTANCE, YOU CAN CALL OR WHATSAP HIM ON +2347089275769 EMAIL DROSAZE39@GMAIL.COM

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  2. My Mom Hates Me With a Passion , ive heard that she is crazy from my older brothers and sisters but shes never said i love you to me a day in my life , ive always been a daddys girl , and my mom hated that , so she and my dad are getting a dervorce jus to get at me , my dad used to b the only one i talk to about every thing everyday when i came home and now that my mom has kicked him out so know he is living with my grandma i have noone to talk to , and i cry myself every night and wake up with a smile on my face just to prepare for that night were ill be crying myself to sleep , idk what to do

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    1. Dnt Cry, My mother does same as you , In that situation U need to make many good friend and get ignored whatever your mother told you . Just forget about her , make ur own ambition. Make as much as friend who can inspire you and make you busy. If you really think of that same thing then u can't study and concentrate in many things. The strongest part is making hobbies and making good friend and playing sport which can make you busy and less stressful. The thing cannot be changed and u need to accept it . I know its hard for you to accept it but u need to forget and ignore , that is the best idea

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    2. Your actual family is in heaven God and the angels they are always there to listen.. check out star seed characteristics maybe your one of us.. if not just call on God and talk to him on paper and rip it to shreds..Try reading the Bible the red parts it helps I love u and our father in heaven loves u too

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  3. My mother hates me and obviously, my siblings does as well.
    It hurts every time I think about it that I get green with envy with people, you know, sometimes, criminals who still have their mothers and family supporting them and taking care of them. I try to hate them so much that I even pray that I will have the passion to. They literally are stealing something that my dad left me, I'm a single mom struggling to make ends meet and because of her and my siblings, it really is becoming a challenge to live day in and day out. I hope thoughts and memories of her gets erased from my brain so that I can move on.

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  4. My mother wants nothing to do with my life or my children. I am one of six (five daughters) and ever since I hit 17 she has shown an open dislike to me. There have been good areas but I have not seen these for about five years. I get upset every time I speak to my mother, not because she's horrible to me but just because it reminds me how uninterested she is in mine and my children's life's. this is in complete contrast to my four sisters who all see her at least twice a week and speak to her on the phon everyday. I speak to her once every month and see her a few times a year... Now she has started bullying my 15 year old daughter and showing an active dislike in her... My daughter is upset shall I just cut my ties now?

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    1. i think yes cause u dont want your daughter to blame you for letting her to keep doing the same type of hurt....ps: im sorry...hope all is well

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  5. wow....all this story brings me to tears... sadly im going through it now and sometimes i just want to throw in the towel... but thanx for all your stories i just cant seem to find myself writting/typing it down. idk how i land on this site but i did..and im glad i did

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  6. i just have to share this with the world. and just maybe it will release me from the torture and chaos that runs havoc in my life. my mother never loved me. but me being the child in my mind i didn't want to believe it. how can a mother hate or dislike something that was create from her?

    my mother use to physically abuse my father when i was a child everyday it was a war zone in our household. and by the time i turned 13 my father decided to leave, and i began to run away from home. i wanted to be love so bad that i had my first child when i was 16. not being old enough to care for him i entrusted him with her. while i had three more kids over the course of years. and i struggled all of my life. i left him with her thinking she can provide a better life for him than i could, but boy was i wrong. my oldest is now 20, next to him 14, my daughter is 12, and my youngest is 4.

    she has instilled so much hatered in my oldest son towards me. she calls me names in front of my children, and as how worthless i am. im nothing and will never be nothing. and for some reason i keep coming back to the house where all my pain began. i keep making mistakes to come back to this house to endure the suffering of her abuse in front of my kids. I am almost 40yrs old, divorce, and homeless.

    please can anyone share with me, why do i keep repeating this and why do i keep enduring this suffering?

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    1. You thought that her Hatred for you would be just direct to you but real hatred is a cycle, she encourages your children in probably indirect and direct ways and this continues the patterns of behaviour but because they are children and easily influenced they don't realise the dynamic and if you tried to explain to them they won't understand as she is probably good to them get help from a therapist so you can get some advise on the best way to deal with this your younger children are young enough to miss the action stay away from her with those children set boundaries for you mother don't go to her place if she or the children want to see each other have her come to your place inform her at the slightest put down she will have to leave and come back when she is better behaved don't put up with it your children will never respect you other wise with your 20 year old back off till he is older good luck x

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    2. God bless you I am not alone and either are you. I am in the same picture. Peace and love

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    3. Dear Optimal Health for Life,
      The Divine Mother loves you unconditionally as a biological or birth mother never could. Once you call upon your divine mother you will be filled with pure love and bliss and know that you are not alone and cared for. Our human mothers came to teach us some lessons. We are spiritual beings on a human journey here to remember who we are...

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    4. Oh Allah
      I m also victmise by my mother I love her but but she hates me because after arrange marriage my father leave her when I m 6 month old she lookafter me 11 year but suddenly he love a man ND she married him after 5 year he divorce my mother I have now 2 borther ND one sis more I love them unconditional but my mother change in whitch after her love marriage she hates me now I m 36 year old but she still heat me she insulted me in front of everyone always I call her sister in my hole life I feel lonely

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  7. thank you for creating this site.... I now know Im not alone!

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    1. As a mother I could never do what my own mother did to me, the beatings the screaming the fear I had of my mother was awful, my dad never knew! the day she died I felt I was born again!

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  8. Wow! I just thought it was me. Sitting here sad wondering why my mom hates me. Found this site and now know I'm not alone. I'm not sure why my mom treats me the way she does. When I was a child she tried doing right by me. The man she was married to nearly killed me and her both for the abuse we had, but then by the time I was 14 she remarried. I finally had someone I could call my dad.

    Grew up got married and things did not work out and we divorced, but remained really good friends. I got married 3 more times and had 3 more children, which one of them was conceived in a rape. My mom was determined that I was not going to be happy with any man and would call the police on all of them. Not that they were any better, but I feel this is why I chose them from the start. No decent man would have wanted me. Not with a mom like mine.

    My brothers and sisters and I did not get along because my mother turned them against me by lying to them about me. She made horrible things up about me to get them to hate me. She has called the welfare on me to try and get my son from me because she wanted him so much she could not stand the fact I was his mother, never mind the other three. Exactly what I told the welfare. Why if I'm such a bad mom, why would she only want one of my kids and not the others. This is after I moved 45 miles away. I could not escape her.


    Now she is 72 years of age, still hating me, but because I am not married, my brothers feel I am the one that should take care of her. She still plays her games with my siblings and even though they know how she is, they still want to yell at me for the lies she tells them about me and my thirteen year old autistic and vision impaired son.

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    1. You are def not alone.I also have gone through horrible abuse from my mother and since I was a little girl she never wanted me and always treated me like im a bother to her.I have cut her from my life and want nothing to do with her.The last thing she did to me was the straw that broke the camels back.My grandpa passed away and on purpose she didnt tell me and I missed his funeral cause of her.My grandpa was my only family left and he loved me so much and she knew that.She tried to destroy me for 41 years and guess what.she failed.Im still goin strong and Im doing ok.I have an autistic son who is vision imparied also.Its very hard but you have to be strong against this evil and be a good mother to your son.Im here for you if you need someone to talk to.

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    2. Ladies I am thankful you all are talking on this site. I am a only daughter, my baby brother is her favorite. Mom always made me feel as if I was adopted.Mom never backed me up growing up. My mother never would listen to me when I told her of the sick way my dad did to me she ignored it. Mother had an inheritance and spent money on baby brother. Other brother is dead, middle brother mom favors baby brother who she always says I,feel sad for baby brother. So today I told my mom how she favors baby brother which she ruined any chance of baby brother I ever trying to be a sister or brother to each other. Mother said I need psychological help just because let mother know I am not stupid as she thinks I am.What mother turns brother against sister and acts as if brother is daughter.Mother went as far as telling me she will not let me know when she dies. I know I am not perfect but mother sure had me I never ask to be her child. Mother thinks she can run you and control you and if you do not agree with her then you are her competitive daughter sad how mom tells me that if the house she is in I do not buy this house and pay baby brother his half of what mother thinks is what is the market value when she has helped baby brother all his life. Mother sure helped buy a house for baby brother ask her why can't I see the paperwork from deceased brothers va loan and grandpa's inheritance mother says that is none of my business. If mother was not trying to hide something on her helping baby brother then it must be as if mother says am I the daughter on drugs. Even dad admitted that mother favors baby brother. Mother has been distant to me forever but today simply though I do not stay depressed I am leaving mother alone. Ladies we are all special in our own ways and our mothers should appreciate us for the daughters we are and not what mother does or doesn't accept the daughter. Thanks ladies because abuse,mother just being a sad excuse for mother I leave mother alone

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  9. /just hung up on mother. hateful. won't talk to me why do I keep trying to get her to care about me? tonight she actually said what do I have a baby? meaning me. for my health I should let go but that is hard. so how to people just step away? I want to know what I did but she won't reply acts like I am crazy. found out my sister has be spreading lies (she's a cold hearted you know) but my mother things she's just great. maybe two peas in a pod.

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    1. What happens is that you have an ideal about what a mother is and if you continue to try and please her, in the end you will have the relationship you deserve WRONG
      we grow up conditioned to depend on our mothers whether they are good or bad STRANGE but you have to break away and live your own life it isn't uncommon for other siblings to continue her work they are also conditioned by her to act out towards you Watch out they will groom your children against you too if you don't change the dynamic take care x

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    2. To mars travers -- LJBGallery is right on.

      Understand it is NOT you! Just repeat those words to yourself until you finally get it. That's what I did. Seriously. Or you will go insane. "It's not me, it's her. It's not me..."

      HUGS

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  10. So great to know i'm not alone! Thank you all you precious souls for sharing one of the most isolating experiences. I can't even begin to share some of my stories, but they are similar in that my mother basically acts like i don't exist, but treats all her nieces & nephews like they are her children. She is highly educated (she's actually a psychologist!) and has no known major crippling issues that can possibly explain her ill treatment of her only child, but it's something I have had to adjust to. I don't really have any other form of emotional support either (biological dad died and he left us when i was a baby, anyway) I'm single & don't have close knit relationships here, extended family members don't give a rats ass and those who do are close to her, as she is older and in the sub-culture i come from, you uphold the "elder" person's statement, not the kid's. I do have a lot of acquaintances, but no one especially close as I don't trust anyone, for obvious reasons. So the comfort for me is in self-help forums/sites like this, wine, learning about self-esteem & self-actualization, meditation, music, writing etc.

    One of my breakthroughs has been recognizing that whatever she does to me, in actuality, has nothing to do with me, but more to do with her. She has to figure out why she hates me and resents me and loves everyone else. That is not MY issues.

    So to you guys, i say: realize that you are a worthy individual who does not need to feel loved or cared for by others in order to feel good about yourself. Don't chase love! If that shop is closed, find another.

    You just love yourself and that should be enough!

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  11. my mother, where do I start! She has turned my dad and the rest of my family against me There are no blood relation relatives left, that acknowledge that I'm alive. She even called social services on me, and I know I'm a great mother! My goal was to be opposite of my mom, and that alone ranks me high as a mother. I love being a mom and I put in 110% to my four boys. To make a long story short, because of my mother, I have lost my oldest son. He was 11 when she started the lies and began the rumors. He is almost 13 and he hates me, I was charged with neglect!!!!! I have never neglected anything or anyone!!!!!! I live in a small town, her preacher is the mayor, she made sure to get him on her side. My reputation is ruined! I went from having a lot of friends in this town, to no one talking to me or looking at me like I'm a piece of garbage. My mom has ruined my life and committed a crime by emotionally and mentally abusing my oldest son, but I get a neglect charge! Such a wonderful world we live in. The wonderful "justice system" we have.

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    1. I completely understand. And I know how difficult it is to convince anyone--even a court--that your mother is a nut job who hates you. They tend to think that if your mother hates you, you must indeed be a horrific mess. This mindset enables a toxic, vengeful mother to get away with endless lies that will often be taken at face value. When your own children suffer, it feels like evil has descended upon you.

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  12. this was great to read that there are other daughters out there that their mother hates them. I am also successful and done extremely excellent for myself. My mother has not ever ever loved me since I met her at the age of four. she tortured me with so much abuse through out my childhood. Kicked me out since I was 13th and has been out of my life 90% of it. It hurts so much that I'm in my late 30's and try to have a mother and daughter relationship with her and she literally kicks me out her life and want nothing to do with me..She didn't speak to me for 17yrs and still wants to hold what ever negativity she has within herself. As a mother now no matter what my child will ever do to me or put me through I could never go with out him and cut him totally out of my life. How can a mother hate their own child so much, I think that just pure evil. But hurts to the core of my heart I don't have a mother who I can share my accomplishments with,talk to, hold on and have as a friend and a mother. A mother is just a word, another person can act as your mother to nurture and love you..and its a shame a woman can carry a child for 9 months and hate them so much..I am learning to let go and just except that I will never have a real mother to love me and be there for me..

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    1. Sadly it will always be that way . My mother poisons everyone's view of me every time I try to have a relationship with her she makes up lies or insinuates improprieties on my part. So it is pointless they want only to hurt and destroy your self worth!

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  13. you really should have checked your spelling and grammar. Not only in the title of this but in the body there are many grievous mistakes which make you look like an unreliable source of information.

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    1. Thank you for your comment. The purpose of this blog is to share what I have experienced in my own life. As you may notice by the many replies, this blog has been extremely helpful to other women who are going through similar situations. My intention was not to present myself as an expert or a professional writer. I am just a regular person writing a blog for which many people are extremely grateful. As you will notice, there is a great dialogue going on between those who have visited this blog, which was one of main purposes of writing. I am sorry that you failed to benefit from the great information I provided because you were too focused on the misspellings or grammar issues. I will choose to focus on the overwhelmingly positive response I have received.

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    3. Cynthia,
      Jesus admonished us to not pick a speck from someone else's eye, while ignoring the plank in our own. Instead, Jesus advised us to remove the plank from our own eye first. By doing so, we avoid hypocrisy, for only when our own sight is clear, can see well enough to remove the speck from someone else's eye.
      It was good advice 2000 years ago, and it's still good advice today.

      Before you criticize the author of this blog Cynthia, you should double check your own writing first. It's my understanding that sentences still begin with a capital letter, do they not? I'm sure you'll correct me if I'm mistaken. Also, please know that I've attempted to make sure that the spelling, grammar and punctuation in this reply meet or exceed your exacting standards.

      Thank you Golden Girl for creating this much needed blog. I'm looking forward to visiting here often.

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    4. Cynthia reminds me of MY mother!!! How ironic. Beautiful blog....validates ALOT!!

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    5. Oh no, here comes the spelling police, when someone is pouring out their heart to you and your reply is to point out fault with spelling and grammar, it is very telling indeed

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    6. Thank you all. CCM7391 I hadn't thought of that, but yes, it does sound like something my mother would do. I can never be good enough for her. I am very glad that I no longer let what other's think of me define me. I think all the responses and dialogue here prove my message has gotten through and I think this should make us aware that if we are not careful and conscious we can become like our mothers.

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  14. Although my life growing up is not as bad as others here, my mother has been more emotionally abusive. I have always felt that I was doing something wrong because my mother's love was always conditional. I've always considered myself a good daughter, taking care of her when she needed me, etc. I was in an accident which almost took my arm and she said Oh, that not bad, I've seen worse. And this week she went behind my back and hijacked a management position that I have been working for for 2 years when she hasn't worked there for over 2 years, and from conversations with other family members that she has said, the only reason she had me was to get away from her mother, and she treats my younger brother as if he can do no wrong, but I was the one taking care of her, and the only time she wants to spend time with her grandchildren is if I give her something in return. I've had to remove myself from her so save myself, which is hard since we live in the same town.

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  15. It does help me to know that I'm not alone. I am the 2nd oldest of 4 children and the only one my mother has no use for. She tells the rest of the family lies about me, just made-up really hurtful hateful things. I have long since given up having anything to do with her. For instance, 6 or 7 years ago, my mother drove back home, a distance of over 1500 miles, to visit her brother, and by some chance, I had been there to see him a couple of weeks earlier, and he mentioned to her that I had got a good job at a university. My mother denied this and was so upset that I had had landed job that she stayed only a few minutes and left, apparently in a rage. My uncle thought this was hilarious and told me about it later, and I laughed with him. But what kind of monster is upset that her child succeeds? What does she imagine that I ever did to her? I was a good kid - never did drugs, put myself through school, with absolutely no help from her. Two of my siblings skipped school and eventually dropped out, and the other one did drugs and slept around a lot. I live many miles away from her and have completely cut her, and my siblings, from my life, and my father has died. I don't actually know for sure if she is still alive, which seems very strange even to me.

    So I feel your pain, those of you in the same spot as me. Not everybody should have been a parent.

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  16. Since I was a little girl my mother has hated me.I was put in a home for unwanted children when i was 6 years old.She took me home after that when I turned 9 and she has always been very verbally and physically abusive to me.Always putting me down and being mean to me and just making me feel like I am a bother to her that I exist on this planet.There are so many horrible stories.But im 41 years old now and here is the recent one.Forgot to add in there that she hasnt seen me or my son in a decade.My grandpa just passed away sunday morning.I was very close to him.I was the last one to know in my family.Even a family friend who is my friend knew before me.My mother was suppose to call me and tell me of his passing and didnt on purpose so I would miss his funeral and I did cause I live in another state and had no time to book a flight.She is a miserable human being and I feel sorry for her to do something so mean.I never did anything to her to deserve that.She is a monster and I thank her because it makes me the great mom I am.

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  17. I'm so sorry for everyone who goes thru this in their life. I'm 39 years old and have a son of my own who I adore. My mother has hated me from birth also. I have have 4 brother's and one amazing loving beautiful sister who is 18 years older than me. When I was born my mother brought me home from the hospital put me in my sister's room. My sister wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything unless she took me including dating. I knew very young that my mother hated me. My mother never told me she loved me. When my sister got older got married and moved out it got very painful for me. If I was sick she would tell me to my face that I was ruining her life and I was purposely doing it. A specific story comes to mind I was about 8 years old and my father was involved with the fire dept in our city and once a year they had like a dance with a supper and I was sick that day so she made my brother who is 7 years older then me babysit me well I got sicker and sicker as the night went on and when my fever spiked to a 103 my brother called them a the fire hall and my mother walked thru the door I was on the couch she came up to me and said u little b#%&* u always ruin my fun and she hit me. She went in her room and never came back out to check on me. Luckily my brother called my sister she came and got me and brought me to the ER. From that day on I always wonder from that day on why my mother hated me. Its very sad and very damaging. The hatefulness hasn't stopped till this day. I lost my daddy three years ago in March and on his death bed he asked us to take care of my mother. Well everyone knows how that story goes not everyone kept there promise. I kept my promise to my daddy BC he was my world. Everyday she tells me why don't I just leave she doesn't want me here she don't like the food her coffee is cold it to hot its to cold get my drift. My mother is 82 years old and has even blamed me bc she was diagnosed with dementia. Everything that has happened in her life she has blamed me. I found this site today BC I just went thru same old thing today. Her words cut through my soul. Growing up watching my friends mother love and adore them was confusing to me. I have a great mother and her name is Sissy my wonderful sister. She is my mother not the one who birthed me. Reading all these story make me feel I'm not alone. God bless everyone! My goal everyday is to not b like my mother bc she doesn't deserve that title!

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  18. My mom always told me that she didn't like me and now I feel as if she doesn't like my son. We got into a huge argument about how she treats my nieces better then she do my son. She told me and I quote "your son's attitude irks me, He act just like his dad". Every since then I felt like my childhood pain was resurfacing. I tried to get pass it but I couldn't because I was tired of pushing stuff under the rug like we always was taught to do. My mom would get hard down mad at me like she wants to fight me at times. Once I had to tell her "mom if u every put your hands on me I will feel disrespected and I will call the cop and press charges". She got very upset and so did my siblings but I had to explain to them that I am a grown ass women and I would be wrong as hell in everyone's eyes if I swing back and she know that, which mean I consider that completely taken advantage of your position. My mother is so wishy washy. One minute I hear her brag to others how she is so proud of me for being married for so long to my husband and that my child was conceived into wed-lock and the next she talking about how back in her day she would have a man do this and that for her. The other day we got into a huge fight cuz she said that she heard that I was talking about her and I was. I was only talking about how she treats all the other grandkids better then my son (he's 6 yrs old). Instead of owning up to it she told me that she would if she cared. So naturally I went inn (got upset). I said " well I stop caring the day you told me how u felt about my son. The reason I said that because I am tired of her telling me that she don't care about how I feel or about me.I am tired of getting verbally and emotionally abused. At the end of our conversation she said "have a nice life". So basically she would rather cut me outta her life then to deal with what she did wrong and work thru it. My entire family have been brought up to push things under the rug and I will not be doing that anymore. I want to teach my son that his feelings are heard and respected and I will deal with any and every problem we will ever have. I don't want her to be no Suzie Homemaker but I did want a more healthy relationship with her. Since that will never happen i guess I will embrace what god have gave me. I appreciate this web-site

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  19. I share your pain and my heart goes out to all who have shared their story. I will share my story with you. I am 51 years old and now have two daughters, each of whom have two sons. My mother was 14 years old when I was conceived, my father 19. At birth my mother's mother (grandma) decided that she was to young to be a grandma and insisted that my mother put me away for adoption. My mother never saw my face at birth and a catholic adoption agency immediately took me away. My grandma refused to allow my mother to live in her home with a child. With much pressure from my father and other family members to remove me from the adoption center, my mother decided at the last minute, right before a white family was about to adopt me, that she would not sign the papers. As you can tell, I am a black female. Anyway, mom and dad took me and went to live with an aunt and they were married shortly after. This lasted for a while but as the years went by my mother began to drink heavily. Because of their work schedules, I was eventually sent to live with my great grandmother and her sister, both of which were already aged. As I was growing up, my father would visit me at my great grandmother's often but my mother rarely came. When she did come, she was usually drunk and would cause some sort of conflict which would result in leaving in a rampage. When I was 16, I developed a yeast infection. My mother took me to a doctor who later contacted me and insisted that I needed to have a D&C. I was leary of this diagnosis and notified my father who instructed me to visit another doctor for a second opinion. When I did, the doctor told me it was nothing more than a yeast infection. I was convinced at this time that my mother had a relationship with this crooked doctor and the intention was to sterilize me. I am so glad for a second opinion. Moving on......I graduated high school, joined the military, got married, had two daughters, earned a degree, bought a car, bought a house, and raised my daughters. Here comes the irony.....My youngest daughter became pregnant at the age of, guess what? 14, that right!! By this time, I am divorced from their father and he want's her to adopt the child. I gave her an option in that whatever she decided, I would support her decision. I know this seems strange but I could not live with the idea of suggesting abortion or adoption and she might have resented me for the rest of her life. The law is on her side even though she is a minor, it's her choice. She gave birth at 15 and then became pregnant again at 17 and gave birth at 18. Well, as you can guess, because she was a minor, the burden of the responsibility for their care rested on me. I took care of her sons and when she turned 19, she left my home. Leaving me with her son's to care for exclusively. I have raised her boys and they are now 10 and 13. During this time, she had very little contact with them and provide no support to me for them. Long story short, she now hates me and has resently been in communication with my mother who has sided with her and they both are hating me. For what, I could not tell you. But....I will say that it is extremely hurtful to me and I feel very lonely because none of my family has supported me and it has been hard raising these boys. I could not give them up. My love for the boys has caused me great suffering and now I am so tired. Here is the final straw....a couple weeks ago, the very daughter calls me to tell me that my mother has lung cancer. I don't even know how to feel or if I even have any feeling left. I pray everyday that the Lord will deliver me from this situation and send me someone who will finally love me. I have been giving all my love to everyone and getting none in return. Everyone keeps telling me I will be blessed. I keep asking GOD if he wouldn't mind putting that blessing on the express bus!! Please hang in there everyone, somehow I believe we will all be alright.

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  20. I'm saddened to read all the stories here, but it's also comforting to know I am not alone. My mother hates me too,always has. I suppose there are a few reasons why. I know she resents having children by a man who didn't want to be a husband much less a father. After she and my father split, she was stuck with two children she, nor any of her boyfriends wanted. She was abusive to both my brothers and I but as the years have went on, she now has a great relationship with my brothers. None of them speak to me. Sometimes I feel like I was dropped out of the sky,like an alien no one wanted. I overcame her hate and abuse and now have a great life. I feel that she is jealous that I an happy. I have forgiven her and have tried as an adult to overlook her ways and have a relationship with her, but her hate and negativity are too much for me. Just being in her presence makes me feel ill. Hearing her voice makes me agitated. It's an awful feeling,but I have realized, its not my fault. I don't blame myself anymore. She is the one with the problem and if she can treat her child this way and live with herself then I can live without her. I have found peace from my faith in God and I pray peace for each of you as well.

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  22. As a Daughter of a ''Mother'' I have a hard time until this day to win her approval of love. She always loves the men she's with more than her kids. I know this and my other siblings know this too. We came from a Father who was an alcoholic/abusive she was married for 10 years or more to. She has been married 3 times. She blamed us for her divorces. She never visits she never realizes she has Grand kids. They will take trips and visit her Husband's family. She gets annoyed or bothered when you want to talk. She lives far away.We have a half Sister whom she seems to be treating differently. As a 16 year old she asked me and even allowed me to quit school and live with a boyfriend (wonderful parenting skills). She never taught me a damn thing besides how to get what you want from a man. I have horrible cleaning skills. I am insecure, I am always thinking she'll love me even though she'll say it sometimes and you know what, it sounds so fucking fake! I am done talking to her. I also do not have many friends esp. female. I think all this stems from her and, I won't let it rule/ruin my life anymore! Just say no. I am tired of the money can buy love, it can't. Keep your money, I want a Mom and I am 30 years old and tired of trying.

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  23. I know the feeling of being hated by a "mother" a bit too well...since early childhood my mother was always disgusted by me up until now,what I did wrong I would never know. She likes all my other siblings but for some reason hates me, about 5 years ago she had a divorce from my father and got into a relationship with someone else,being the person I am I don't really bother to speak to anyone at home so it's basically just out of school into my room not burdening anyone...she would start at me by calling me names,she would say that I'm ugly,dumb,stupid, mad and lots of things....I do well at school...she never goes to meetings and deliberately sabotage my homework making me look bad...she chucks sharp objects at me and throws me with boiling water and I can remember how she forced me to lie in 3rd grade to the teachers when I she gave me a black eye by telling them I accidentally fell...she is always picking a fight with me and tells me how useless I am and I will never succeed in life,she says that I'm as good as getting married and being controlled by my husband because I'm nothing worth,she even cut my hair in my sleep and curses me saying that I have no life and I'm a social outcast and I'm never happy,she says I'm a snake and tells her boyfriend to slap me...apparently I'm mean spirited though this is not true...I'm very kind and loving and all I can say is,is that she humiliates me in every possible way...my heart goes out to all of y'all.

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  24. Hi all, how are u? Please just hang on there, I feel all of u . I believe that every race has this kind of problem. Im Asian n Muslim. I have this problem too. At the age of 31, I have made decision not to try any harder to win my mother's heart. I probably have another 30 years more to live, if I'm lucky enough. So i just put all of these behind, n i look forward for a happier life. Maybe in heaven, God will let us know the reason why we had this mother. We can't choose family, but just to accept fate. Be positive n I wish u all good life ahead.

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  25. All I want is this hateful evil woman whom has abused me my whole life...to get out of my life.....and leave us alone......but she always locates us...and causes ruin and destruction to our lives....I dont know how she does it...Im forty years old....she is not invited in our lives.....but she wont quit....as hard as i try i can not get my daughter away from her...somewhere safe from her....start a new life free from her abuse.....How can I hide from her...where she can not find me? I have moved 5 times..not told anyone...and yet....this black evil cloud..wont quit following us

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  26. All I want is this hateful evil woman whom has abused me my whole life...to get out of my life.....and leave us alone......but she always locates us...and causes ruin and destruction to our lives....I dont know how she does it...Im forty years old....she is not invited in our lives.....but she wont quit....as hard as i try i can not get my daughter away from her...somewhere safe from her....start a new life free from her abuse.....How can I hide from her...where she can not find me? I have moved 5 times..not told anyone...and yet....this black evil cloud..wont quit following us

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  27. My Mother has hated me all of my life. She beat and emotional abused me as well as turned my siblings against me too. I became the family doormat. My mother lived her life behind a locked door doing drugs and manipulating many men. At 12 her husband started touching me inappropriately and I knew if I spoke up she would dispose of me like garbage. At 14 the abuse was at its height as I tried to commit suicide the year before and my mother had to 500 dollars for the ambulance. By 14 I spent my days trying to fit in at school and trying to avoid my mothers abuse and my step fathers unwanted advances. When I finally told my mother what he was in fact doing she kicked me out and started a campaign to destroy me to anyone who cares about me even to this day! the best way to deal with a mother like this is not to! Disappear change your phone number and pretend she is dead!

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  28. Thank you for such a group, let always thought it's not true, and that I was oly imagining it, but yes..my mother emotionally tortured me to leave college, she tortured me as soon as I came back, always trying to make me unsuccessful, always lying and trying to create a fight between me and my father, how do we solve this?

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  29. Thank you for such a group, let always thought it's not true, and that I was oly imagining it, but yes..my mother emotionally tortured me to leave college, she tortured me as soon as I came back, always trying to make me unsuccessful, always lying and trying to create a fight between me and my father, how do we solve this?

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  30. We cannot solve another person's emotional illness. We can only learn to cope with how a mother's rejection affects our lives. Thoughtless mother's that ostracize daughters or sons also ostracize the grandchildren. Grandchildren also have to learn how to cope with the rejection. For me personally, I recognize that my mother is emotionally disturbed. To be connected to her puts me at risk of emotional abuse. Reconnecting with mom would only mean more pain. I feel comfortable letting-go. The best thing I can do is help my children cope with a disturbed grandma. I feel when people hurt others it is a reflection of their own internal torture. My greatest hope for my mother and the affect she has had on me and my children is the healing power of the Atonement. I know there will be healing in Heaven. God has the power to heal. On Earth, we have limitations. We are instructed to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean reconnecting with the abusers. Unfortunately, all humans want to be loved and nurtured by a loving mother so those who are rejected will always feel the pang of the rejection. Those who are rejected by their mothers need to make sure they do not perpetuate that pattern of abuse toward their children. As a neglected child of a mother, I have come to accept the rejection as a byproduct of a disturbed woman. The rejection does not affect my happiness and peace. I love myself and I'm loved. I am grateful for that!

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  31. on things unsaid...
    Mother's day came and went. There were things I wish I could have said, but I did not, because circumstances prevented me from saying them. I wanted to tell my mother that even though our relationship is not good and she does not like me, the fingers of my two hands are not enough to count the good/great things that she had done in my life. I know that she cared (cares?), but she allows herself to get sidetracked by her suspicious nature. I love her, but it is difficult to say those words now, nor to show them. There is this ache that I hope that it will not be too late for all of us. I have forgiven, but, is forgiveness enough for us to heal? There are joys that we are missing because of links that have been broken. I have not seen some of my siblings nor talked to them in a while because, like it or not, this thing that is happening between my mother and I, has caused a ripple effect in the family. May the power of Jesus bring healing, peace, and joy in our hearts.

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  33. Mom gave me to my dad at 8 months. Im the youngest of two half sisters, sisters that my mom loved more than me which is why she just gave me up to my dad as a baby. I never got a card, or a gift or a call. I grew up to hate women since I lived with no woman influence. I can't stand women, and all my friends are guys. I still look at my sister's Facebook and see that my mom comments on how she loves her grandkids and plans days with them... But even knowing that she had two grandkids on my side, because my sister's would comment on the pics of them (Which she can see from their activity) she had never once called or anything. And, even starting to tear up and cry while about to write this awful sentence, because of my mom, I have never bonded with my fairer the way I wanted to. She was my first, and I had terrible terrible terrible PPD. I couldn't be near her for the first month of her life because I was scared of her because my ppd. I never got that bond. She is 6 years old now and I really try my hardest, I take her everywhere and buy her EVERYTHING and tell her I love her every day. But that bond isn't fulfilled. And now that she's developed a crazy stage (she's tried to kill the cat) I don't even think I can have her in my house anymore because I'm scared she might hurt the baby. It's all my fault, the way I wad ignited all my life, ruined the bond with my fairer and turned her into a psycho who may turn into a murderer later in life. I feel awful

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  34. I don't know if writing this will make me feel better or worse either way I'm doing it. I am 22 years old with a beautiful 3 yeard old baby boy. I was a party girl before I became pregnant but instantly everything changed after I became a mother. It's scary you know, when you become a mother because it's so many things no one can prepare you for. In my mind I just knew if I did everything opposite from my mother I would succeed. My mom fits all of these categories she's actually cussing me out as I write this. I've gotten migraines ever since I was 9 and tonight is one of the bad ones. She likes to cut the tv up loud and whistle around the house those things trigger my migraines I hate that I'm crying right now. I hate that I am sort of use to this it's sad right? She talks down to me about my past in front of my son. Sometimes I ppicture me doing horrible things to her. I have dreams about it. The weird thing about all of this is sometimes she is okay she'll say I love you but I don't think she knows how to love. She hasn't had a man since I was 8 sometimes I think it's because she needs some dick. She judges my female friends when they come around but when it's a guy around she pawns me off to them but calls me a whore or bitch slut etc. when she gets mad. She praises the lord in church may even hold my hand. I think she's mentally sick and I just want some one to help her. I moved out me and my son. I still worry about her even visited a few times nothing changed, she hasn't changed so the last time was the last time. I am done with that horrible woman I am suppose to call My mother.

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  35. May God Bless everyone who tells us of their individual story. I have had the same experience. I figured out that my mother did not love me the same as she loved my other 8 siblings when I was only 4 years old. I cried so hard and so long at that time, a neighbor lady came out of her house and asked me what was going on. I immediately stopped and from that moment didn't tell anyone. I was embarrassed that she didn't or couldn't love me. Here I am now at age 67 trying to work out the fact that I was never loved by her. Memories that I have repressed are surfacing. I have been writing some of them down, so I don't have to keep recalling them. I have a book about forgiveness to work through the memories with my Priest. I realize that until I can fully forgive her, the hatred I feel for her behavior towards me will consume me. I want to feel happy again. Luckily for me only 1 sister who is 11 years older than me knows of her 3 attempts to abort me. She cried out, "why did she tell you?" when I told her that mother hated me. I'm retired. I'm supposed to be enjoying life at this time, but all I do is recall and try to deal with the emotions. It does help to know there are so many others out there experiencing what I did. May we all eventually find peace in our hearts and minds. Many hugs and much love goes to each and every one of you who were also hated by their birth mothers.

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  36. I had no idea there were websites for this. Reading all these stories have me in tears because so many of your reactions are so accurate. I'M 17, 18 in a month, and the bad treatment from my mom began about 6 years ago. I'm the only girl of 5, middle child & I always thought I was going through a phase when I became suicidal claiming it was because of my mom & her behavior towards me, but over time I realized that it wasn't just me, I knew & still know to this day she has something towards me. She always had some sort of problems with my 2 older brothers while they were growing up so I just thought to myself that I was just next in line, but what I'm going through is so much severe that what my older brothers went through, physically & mentally. From name calling, to humiliating, to hitting me for no good reason, comparing me, not believing me, manipulating me. The things she's done to me are infinite & I don't want to go through the whole list. I have to WATCH everything I do & say just not to get onto her bad side. What's even more bad is that I have hypoparathyroidism, condition that causes my body to be extremely low on calcium which leads to depression, bone/joint pain, headaches, migraines, seizures, etc. This condition is life threatening, if my calcium gets at a certain low, it can cause me to have a seizure that can affect my heart and lead to DEATH. She knows this, but that doesn't stop her from making me her maid, with no help from my brothers. She'll see me doing homework & tell me to do like 3 different tasks and when I say I'm busy or I refuse (which I tend not to do because I know what's coming) she calls me worthless, says I have nothing coming for me, stays in a grudge for a month or longer, doesn't include me in anything, doesn't want me eating what she cooks & when she sees me eating something else she says, "aren't you embarrassed? That your lazy ass never helps me but you stay eating the food I buy?" which leads me to putting down whatever I served myself and go to my room starving. She knows my breaking points, she knows how my make me miserable. I smoke weed and when she gets mad at me she calls me a drug addict. There have been times when she has called the cops saying that I wanted to drug my little brothers. But you know what, out of all the physical abuse, out of all the name calling, what hurts me the most is when she talks loud enough in the other room with the door open, talking to my brothers in a nurturing way telling them she loves them, knowing I can hear her, then walking by me and giving me a horrible look. Or when she comes to me and apologizes saying that she'll never do it again, when all she wants is a favor & when I do that favor she goes right back to how she was. I look back to how horrible my RELATIONSHIP with my mother has been and I cry. I seek for help from friends wether it just be someone to talk to but I keep it inside because they can't relate at all. The only thing getting me by is knowing that God has a plan for me, that she is only an obstacle that is preparing me for something so much more difficult, that one day I will be happy without her there to drag me from my happiness

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  37. I had no idea there were websites for this. Reading all these stories have me in tears because so many of your reactions are so accurate. I'M 17, 18 in a month, and the bad treatment from my mom began about 6 years ago. I'm the only girl of 5, middle child & I always thought I was going through a phase when I became suicidal claiming it was because of my mom & her behavior towards me, but over time I realized that it wasn't just me, I knew & still know to this day she has something towards me. She always had some sort of problems with my 2 older brothers while they were growing up so I just thought to myself that I was just next in line, but what I'm going through is so much severe that what my older brothers went through, physically & mentally. From name calling, to humiliating, to hitting me for no good reason, comparing me, not believing me, manipulating me. The things she's done to me are infinite & I don't want to go through the whole list. I have to WATCH everything I do & say just not to get onto her bad side. What's even more bad is that I have hypoparathyroidism, condition that causes my body to be extremely low on calcium which leads to depression, bone/joint pain, headaches, migraines, seizures, etc. This condition is life threatening, if my calcium gets at a certain low, it can cause me to have a seizure that can affect my heart and lead to DEATH. She knows this, but that doesn't stop her from making me her maid, with no help from my brothers. She'll see me doing homework & tell me to do like 3 different tasks and when I say I'm busy or I refuse (which I tend not to do because I know what's coming) she calls me worthless, says I have nothing coming for me, stays in a grudge for a month or longer, doesn't include me in anything, doesn't want me eating what she cooks & when she sees me eating something else she says, "aren't you embarrassed? That your lazy ass never helps me but you stay eating the food I buy?" which leads me to putting down whatever I served myself and go to my room starving. She knows my breaking points, she knows how my make me miserable. I smoke weed and when she gets mad at me she calls me a drug addict. There have been times when she has called the cops saying that I wanted to drug my little brothers. But you know what, out of all the physical abuse, out of all the name calling, what hurts me the most is when she talks loud enough in the other room with the door open, talking to my brothers in a nurturing way telling them she loves them, knowing I can hear her, then walking by me and giving me a horrible look. Or when she comes to me and apologizes saying that she'll never do it again, when all she wants is a favor & when I do that favor she goes right back to how she was. I look back to how horrible my RELATIONSHIP with my mother has been and I cry. I seek for help from friends wether it just be someone to talk to but I keep it inside because they can't relate at all. The only thing getting me by is knowing that God has a plan for me, that she is only an obstacle that is preparing me for something so much more difficult, that one day I will be happy without her there to drag me from my happiness

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  38. I never knew that I am just like all of the women on this page until now. Oh dear Lord. WHY? It is so horrible. I am 77 next month and still the pain is overwhelming. I will start counselling as soon as I can figure out if we can afford it. I so not want to take this with me to heaven when I pass over. I have tried to turn every bad thing into something beautiful. I started doing that when I was little. I still do it. I cannot let nasty stay that way. I always try and overcome it. I hope I can get some relief it hurts so much. Now my beautiful daughter is beginning to be like my mother!!!! I am Horrified by her behavior but no means to stop it. I am praying that I can become a better person. My best to each and everyone of you. I send you love and prayers every night!!

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  40. No good answers just unfulfilled people taking advantage of innocent bystanders.. question begs how to move beyond this and create a great life!

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  41. .... 🙈🙉🙊
    Nothing burns brighter than a mothers set out burning fire of hatred for their own kid and her hatered the woman basicly set out to get revenge by having a kid to pick apart cause she is still mad about elementary school and high school.

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    1. Yes that is right. Some people never stop behaving like little girls.

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  42. I have had the same kind of relationship with my mother my whole life. I was a great kid. Perfect grades. Tried to please her and it never worked. Each time I failed, I thought it was me and that I needed to try harder. Flash forward to August 2016 when I was 48 years old. My dad had cancer. They said he wouldn't make it. I came from out of state to see him and my mom begged me to stay and take care of him. She said she would lose her house if she couldn't work. He was not easy to handle and refused to allow her to care for him. I gave up my home, and my life out of state to be a good daughter to my parents. My husband transferred here and put our things in storage. She kept telling me what an angel I was and how she would have lost everything If I had not stayed. All lies. She refused to participate in his care, at the same time she went around pretending that she was his only caretaker and how he was her soul mate. She wanted me to care for him and abandoned me to handle it alone, then would get jealous that he relied on me and tell stories about me. I spent almost a year caring for him. They promised to pay me the same rate they would have paid for help upon his death. They have a lot of money and a few houses. I believed it. My dad would never burn me but my mom would and she did but royally! Less than 24 hours after he died, I asked for my money so I could go home and she became furious. She wanted me to stay and care for her and her house and I politely declined. She told me I could forget about any money and when I left to the store, she locked me out and filed for a restraining order the next morning. She alleged financial & verbal abuse. It was all lies. I brought proof to court and the judge said regardless of my evidence any woman who comes to her court crying and begging for an order must have some reason. So she granted a permanent restraining order against me. She kept my things and my clothes. I left with nothing. I was barefoot even! She doesn't care that I don't know anyone in this state or that I had no money being I could not work and care for my dad at the same time. I gave up my home for nothing. First I was an angel. Now I am a druggie, thief = ugly person according to her. What financial or verbal abuse could I have done in less than 24 hours after death? I was good enough to have stay and do all the work for her so she didn't have to. This is the biggest burn I have ever seen in my whole life.

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    1. I forgot to mention, how bad she spoke of me to my husband & just wants to be friends with me not my Mother, So hurt, that unless someones has experience can never understand. Thank you for your compassion...

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  43. I want & would love to contribute to this Illness/Disease/Sickness. Life Altering Relationship that can consume you without closure. My Mom, after 45 years told my Husband & I in round about direct ways about my Stepfather. She admitted she knew he has been raping me & my Older Sister sister. And she will take my Sister's BLOOD CURLING SCREAMS WITH HER TO HER GRAVE...But now, here she has just confessed the last time in mid July 2016 knowing that we are going through still decades of Family Dysfunction due to this STEPFATHER. He raped us, beat us, change our names, collected taxes on us, then when signs were showing for me. Cause I always knew my Biological father always loved us, but they brainwashed my older sister, he hated us & never wanted us. Even said he had another family & they don't want us. I am a 2 time RUNAWAY & my Mother has tortured me with this side of the family & up until my current 48th Birthday this Aug. 2016 she disowned me for still loving my biological father trying to blame him that he denied me at birth. But then, she forgot she had told me in 2011, that she only conceived me to save the marriage. When she realized, I wasn't going to save the marriage she went to my Grandmother, her mother. Whom gave herself WIRE HANGER ABORTIONS, back in the days, to abort me. My mother told my husband & me, many disgusting physical things my Grandmother did to her to show her how to abort me already formed. GOD SAVED ME THEN & NOW. But, she lied to the kids she had 7-8 years later, staying with this STEPFATHER<RAPIST. She never left him, but had 3 kids with him. She said to us "I AM THE LUCKY ONE< I GOT AWAY", but she admitted 45 years later, she knew he was raping us & even his own kids....I am torn, but strong my husband dismayed, & scared cause she is physically going to scare him & he is disabled. She always for the last, lets say 3 years complained "how she gave up her life for her kids, that she even refused to look at my photos growing up on my own". Jealous she said, she was I had a life not her. All us, her children were for the men not for her wanting us. She refuses to tell the other siblings trying to make me & my husband look like the bad guys, but we know the truth like God. She has even brought into the next generations of grandchildren by the way she talks about them. She lives 4 blocks from us, never thinking this would ever be. Forgiveness I had given her until she admitted she knew we were raped at 45 years ago & made us live & be raised by the MONSTER. My whole life has been of Kaos & Lies I see know & my husband stands strongly as a witness. Please send my reply to CUCHIE8614@AOL.COM

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  45. LIke each of you I spent time thinking I was not good enough because of my mother's problem. The biggest thing I have learned is we have a right to protect ourselves from abuse and to reject toxic people.___ I had no boundaries due to "the door of disrespect" my mother opened on me so early in my life. Another difficult part was learning to love and accept myself instead of looking for acceptance from others. Yes, that "disease to please" is tough to identify when still reacting to the one who jerked you around and robbed you of your confidence.___ Ultimately, I learned so much from my tortured relationship with my mother. I wanted to understand "why" all the brutal meanness. Why was there no joy or affection. All my questions have been answered just because I had them. It took many years to discern what had happened.___ I never hated my mother, I was more concerned, even hopeful, we'd get along once I was on my own….then she turned her disrespect on my little 4 year old and I drew that, long overdue, line in the sand. I distanced myself from her and observed her doing her routine on others. It became obvious that being overbearing was her defense, a "don't you dare cross me" attitude. She only felt anger. She demanded respect, as disrespectful as she was. A big clue! It was clear that she had a hard time with herself and for what ever reason kept herself closed off. I suspect there was a biological reason for some of her problems on top of being traumatized & oppressed.___Finally she became the success she wanted to be in life, which was a stretch for a woman of the nineteen forties & fifties. She found a job shortly after I did when I was finishing high school.___Emotionally, she never developed beyond a jealous eight year old type. This behavior was another clue. Her father preferred her younger sister, her mother told me...something she never got over. Her dad helped the extended family get through "The Great Depression" and became alcoholic. At age 17 she discovers he has a family on the side, revealed by her childhood friend to me. That news probably blew her status out of the ballpark during those times. Status was what everyone seemed to be after then. So, another clue!___When I was born, evidently, the attention went from mom to me and from then on she glared at me, especially, when my dad was attentive to me. The other thing I learned, from dad, was she had a dangerously high fever, for days, shortly after I was born.___My mother was more like a jealous sibling towards me and as I grew so did her hostility towards me; beating me up emotionally and physically over nothing. Another clue! … she wanted to control me and had little patience with anything out of place in her environment, yet, curiously her closet spaces were piled up like a pack rat. On top of all this my father chose to work nights to avoid her hostility towards him. Mom would tattle, even lie, to get him to turn on me.___This was a demoralizing environment, so instead of continuing to react to this subjugation I took the advice of a social worker who informed me I could strike out on my own when 17 if I had a job. My home room teacher noticed my plight and told me of a part-time job for after school. I made a plan to leave as soon as I graduated from high school and planned to go to college with the help of my art teacher getting the application ready to send. And I did! I was in a good place, but then came a boy who had little respect for what I was about except to attach himself to what I had created for myself. We were stepping stones for each other. This is when I recognized how fascinated I was by affection/validation.___ It's been a long journey with many ups and downs. Today, at age 68, I can say I found some truth.___ I'm so found these days I'm lost to many horizons without having to prove myself.___My advice is don't get stuck…
    keep questioning and mindfully keep moving toward knowing yourself.

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  48. I felt alone for years until I read about other women who had problems with their mothers. It took me years to get over the problems I had to deal with before I left home. If a woman mistreats her daughter, it is pure evil. Some women set out to have children at an early age but when things don't work out in their favor, they blame their child, especially if they have a girl.Even if a teenage mom misses her chances to get an education, there is still hope for her. I knew a woman who had a baby girl at a very young age. That woman became a teacher by the time her daughter was 9 years old.A single young woman can put her child up for adoption. My godmother was willing to keep me because she had no children of her own. I also had to leave home before I completed my college education. My mother did the same thing to me. She was so jealous. She caused problems when I got engaged to a guy. I lived alone for years and worked to pay my bills. When my stepfather died, mom invited me back home to live.
    I didn't go right away. When she finally convinced me to move back home, I stayed there for two months.I was told that I couldn't live in the house and would have to eventually move to the basement. I also had hopes of finding a better job there in my hometown. I had to leave everything behind and come right back here where I live now. I was engaged to be married.I still don't know why I didn't think to put everything in storage.When I sent the money for to my mother to send my winter coat back in the mail, she refused to do it. I lost 3/4 of what I worked hard for alone without a college degree or a spouse. She always had an intention to punish me for just being on this earth. I don't believe that a daughter is to blame for her mother's behavior. AS I said before, it is pure evil. People should be
    kind to all of their children because old age is a sure thing for almost everyone. Mom was jealous. She said how no man gave her anything. From since when a man had to give a woman anything to make her feel worthwhile? Almost everything I have, I bought it for myself. My mother had issues with her siblings. I have purchased new items but some things are irreplaceable. I don't have to apologize to my mother because she will never say that she is sorry for her actions or all of the lies she told about me. I have a very good relationship with my father.

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  49. Wow, this is interedting, I was just siting here feeling hated and ecided to search the internet for reasons why mothers hate their daughters and come across this conversation,.The crazy thing is that my mother is dead and I still feel hated by her, but there are no answers from her so I just have to deal with it and live on. My family had a tragic event occur some years ago that left me homeless but not hopeless. It was going on two years that I was living with my sister and two brothers and each day that I lived with her has been sheer agony. I had lost my car along the way and so I had to suffer walking to find work and once I found work walk to work. The strange thing is my sister never would assist whenever I asked her for a ride to work. They were all angry with me because before my mother died, she(mother) and I had exchanged some ugly words, regarding her belief in religion. All of my life she went on and on and preached religion and trust in the Lord, but when she began getting ill, I felt she copped out. Not only that but she was disappointed with me from an earlier time because she wanted for me to date some guy that she arranged me to be with and hated the guy I was involved with and forbade my interest. I had to live with her because she had all of my friends shut me out of their lives and I had no one to turn to, I had become a prisoner in her home, I felt child like. I know to some of you this is some Crazy SHIT! but it was very real. She would go into the room where I was living and I would find things missing, My Bible, My clothes, so after five dresses and a number of other things. I was helpless and by this time, I had begin living on the streets to find an out. So I lived in the stairwell of a hotel for about four months to get away from her. I finally got away and she was livid, now more important things begin to come up missing my birth certificate, my wallet social security card, it went so far that my room was rearranged. Scary huuh,. I did not recognize my mother anymore she started becoming her illness, and I could not deal with it NOMORE! I had noticed that I started to need alcohol, I did not have clothing, that had somehow got the keys to my car and had parts replaced on it that were not necessary. It began to feel like a Prison of religion, I was to do whatever my mother wanted to make her happy and neglect my own feelings and insensitivities. But I stood against it and took her religious beating she started to become furious and I remember the last time I saw her go to the Hospital, she had a look on her face as if I caused her to go to the hospital, It played on my consciousness for a while, that was until I realized what she was up to...I could go on for eons but I will just stop here because so many things are coming alive in my mind,

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  50. My mother made my entire family turn against me, that is how much hatred she had for me. She expected for me to be around her all of the time and go no where, I had been drinking and decided not to put gas in my car, she insisted that I put gas in my car and get it out from in front of her house so that she wouldn t get ticketed. The thing was my car was plated with insurance she just wanted to start an indifference with me not even a week later my sisters car stopped and had to sit in front of the house for weeks until it go fixed. But she did not have tags on it. I had began to grow angry and distant from the woman I called momma,I wanted her to love me for all the things that I could never be. She wanted to have another boy child but I could not be that I was born a girl. She wanted me to date outside of what I wanted, I wasn't ready to take on a responsibility and have her govern that relationship. I refused and she called my the adversary, defiant, rebellious and all these things. I cried many times cited by my mother for not being what she wanted.

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  51. I don't know what to say, I am happy to find you ladies but sad to know there is a lot of us suffering the same thing even in different parts of the world. I am from Rwanda. I believe from the day I was born my mother hated me. As matter fact she did give me away when I was a baby to her mother. But later on she decided to get me back and our first conversation on our reunion was never call me mom and never tell anyone I am your mother. It was terrifying for a 12 years old who came expecting and excited to be joining her mother finally. Well it never stopped there, like most of you I played my book right, did all the right things, got myself educated, worked multiply jobs and saw my self throughout school up to masters level, she was never impressed to attend any of my graduation nor did she even have interest to attend my wedding. Have three kids today, she has never visited me not even at the hospital when she learned I was between life and death. I have given up and truly praying nothing like this will catch any other relatives of mine. However, it does hurt. I have never wondered why? I am so glad I have you ladies.

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  52. Iam sorry that your mom was mean. Sue is my mom feel similar in some ways. Sue never wanted me to have kids. Sue was mean love how she thinks I am a no good daughter. Sue is now without me theso called daughter. Sue will tell me buy her house when she dies so my brother Joe can have money to survive on but she does not say anything about Joe and I selling house and split the money after all the taxes and real estate agent finish sell. Sue says honor thy father and mother but I do not feel as if I need to be played a idiot. Sue also tells me she will not let me know when she dies after I had a argument after Christmas in 2016 we have not spoke to each other but honestly us daughters have feelings to our hearts can be crushed but oh well that is life. The only thing I ask Sue for is the things I made her growing up

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  53. here iam just feeling sad and lonely and i stubbled on to this web,it is so comforting to know that iam not the only hated daughter on earth! I can not even bring myself into calling her my mother i think the sole purpose of hers was to give birth to me and it ends there,i have never seen a woman so vindictive and hateful toward her own daughter,as for my daughter she hates her with a passion but it's suprising enough iam still living in the same household as she is even when i know the only time she pretends to love me is when it is benificial to her existance, i have this strong hatred towards her and i can not wait to complete my degree and leave the house for good,once when my daughter came to visit she straight out asked me if she brought any food with her since she is not a feeding factory for babies,it is so sick i know,but i choose to be the total opposite of her.i will not let her evil soul ruin my relationship wuth my daughter i do hope one days she gets the mental help she needs. i think once im set and financially fit im cutting all ties with this pathatic woman. my dad has been the only person who has supported me and i thank God for his existance.

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  54. my mother told me today she hated me.i am good friends with my dad.my mom try pimp me out for 30 yrs since I been 15 yrs old.she takes income off anybody.she don't need it.she wants person pay all the bills while she runs around shop and go out to eat.she left me with this ex psycho so she can take his income he is a narc.shelfish.hides his sex addict.he abusive to me and my pets.starve me.try kill me.had grave dug for me.my mom said.i will up your life insurances.i got away.to a friends until I got my place.she try push me back to that psycho who try to kill me.she wanted that inheritance he didn't sign contract to her.she thinks she mother people worship her give her stuff.i got my place.a druggy took that psycho income.and left he try come back to me.i said go date mom.im trying to increase my income so I can move to a bigger place.my sister is evil play one against other.stir up trouble.cause fights in family.she hates girls.my 2 bros are not too bad.but users.do things to make you mad.i wish that lady who saw me wanted to adopted me.would of.my life would been so much better than my mom trying push men for her money.i had fight off for 30 yrs.it slow down she old and sick.but she try get her neighbor to go out with me cause she wanted her home repaired.i told her to go out with him herself.she go places and rub it in my face.she took all income I ever had.when I had my place.i had buy stuff she didn't help me.i wish I could been adopted to a person wanted a daughter.

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  55. my mom was an alcoholic and had bpd. she adored my sisters and hated me. she openly would tell me she wasn’t able to love me. It was horrible. I’m 17 years old and it hurts. My birthday is in 10 days and expect that I will not hear from her. My sisters get letters and presents.... I don’t think I will. It’s hard to believe she’d forget it though because her birthday is 3 days after mine. She moved to the United States and told my sisters it was because of me. That hurt.
    I’m thinking of starting a blog about it all.

    For anyone in a similar situation a good song I’ve found is How Could You Leave Us by NF ��

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  56. Is there a support group in Chicago?

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  57. It is so sad to know this many ladies have been rejected or abused by their mom. God's word tells me "I knew you before you were formed in your mother's womb." Hang on to the fact you are loved, even if a bitter women tells you different . God bless.

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  58. I am 35 years old and i am a mother for two kids...i don't remember i have been loved by my mother one day....Actually she is not a bad mother because i see how she treats my brother and how much she cares about him and her behavior with him prove for me that she hates "me" or at least she doesn't like me...I always feel she wish if i was not born. She wants me to be like her exactly but i've never been and i will never be. I have my own personality and i am exactly her opposite in dealing with everything around. My brother is a copy paste of her and that was another reason for her to hate me more and more...i tried many solutions but nothing helped...Now i am a mother for two kids a girl and a boy and my only concern is to be like her...i always make sure to treat my kids equally and to be a good friend for them...But being honest this idea is killing me and i am afraid with time and age to be like her and hurt my kids....

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  59. Feeling much empathy for the daughters here with the Mothers that hate them so much that they even go as far as hurting the Grandchildren. I too can relate to emotional , Physical and Pychological abuse and belt buckle from a Mother who illigetemantly had me at 15. At age 11 my brother and I were abandoned in the middle of the night. We were raised on her Friends and Families couches and up and down the interstate. I can remember abuse as young as a year old. This so called Mother kept me in the dark most of my life and even talked bad about me to my suitors. The reasons listed above for hating a daughter are all true in my case with more too horrible to even mention.

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  60. Through all of this Hating... Lets thank our lucky stars that we can see their sicknesses and rise far above their pettiness and Evildoings.AMEN.

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  61. My ex met a man and my boys don't like him
    They are 8 year old twins
    Mom decided that they won't keep her from her boyfriend she met 2 months ago
    She told the boys that she hates them and wants them out of her life
    We are shocked

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  62. As insidious as having a deliberately cruel mother is, and the ongoing long term effects on ones self worth etc worse even then the actual cruelty, for me personally, is the inability to acknowledge these behaviours personally, and therefore address the issues, or confide in anyone else about what was happening! Certainly not as a teenager, nor young adulthood, it's only in hindsight, and experiencing this cruelty now as an adult, that I have fully, and finally, allowed myself to remember ALL of it. The deep denial that accompanies the cruel behaviours is an instinctive safety measure initiated by nearly all children, in order to shield themselves from the deep pain such behaviours repeatedly inflict on them, most horribly by the person who is supposed to love them most in this world. The Mother's cruel behaviour, and the child's instant painful reaction, must be quickly internally denied, simply for the child's emotional survival. Then there is the shame, deep shame, it becomes the daughters dirty secret that she is unloveable, and it must be her fault. Clearly, teaching a child by their actions and harsh words (cruelty by any measure) during their essential programming and learning years is devastating for that childs future self worth and confidence. They are, and will be, missing the essential foundation, and building blocks, crucial for creating their healthy ego, self-esteem, self worth, and self love. I am the eldest of two daughters, and my Mothers cruelty was only ever reserved for me. My brothers were all put on pedestals, and could do no wrong! Those two, my younger sister and Mother, were against me always. Continually plotting together, and enjoying any discomfort, difficulty, and/or pain they could purposely throw in my direction. They both thrive on this still today. For years and years these things were too painful to even assess personally. The possible reasons behind such horrendous treatment of one's child I can only kind of reluctantly fathom now, as an adult (not condone!). These are her extreme selfishness and vanity, emotional immaturity and clearly completely controlled by her emotions, and obvious narcissistic personality. She is an EXTREMELY insecure, therefore jealous and selfish woman, who is simply an emotional child. In fact, childish in every way. My Father, whom she chopped out of my life when I was very young (this was done out of selfish spite, using children as weapons of hurt, not too mention added bonus of hurting me) quite tellingly and openly, adored me. I think that this fact, combined with my not being a demonstrative or affectionate child/person (so did not provide her with the unconditional love she craves, instead of the other way round) made her very, very resentful and jealous of me, thus becoming her competitor, and target for cruelty. It is beyond me, how a woman could do this! She continues now. Thank you so much for this blog, it helps me greatly, knowing this is an issue at large in society, making me feel less unloveable, and momentarily, less alone xox.

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  63. EDT 07:19 Wednesday, 2019/04/24

    Everyday I fantasize about killing my mother, it wouldn't be quick, I'd love nothing more to isolate her in a deep dark well, and deliver the same torture methods unto her as she bestowed unto me throughout my developmental and formative years.
    Unfortunately the only pain I can give her is physical, because the mind of an adult is not the same as a child's mind, aside the physical abuse I endured as a child, her adult mind is incapable of perceiving the mental and emotional abuse she inflicted on me as a child.
    I dream of torturing her day in and day out until she couldn't take it anymore to the point she'd commit suicide because she couldn't stand the pain anymore.
    The only thing that is protecting my mother from making my fantasy a reality: Fear of being caught by law enforcement, being put on trial and prosecuted as a criminal and going to prison and being locked up in the same abusive environment I grew up in.
    I'm 51, and I can't escape the memories, I can't afford PTSD counseling either. Canada is not that great of a country - therapy is expensive and my pockets are not that deep.
    I feel like I'm losing my mind.

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  64. I am so glad to found this page! I didn't realize so many other people have moms that hate them for whatever reason. I have been working on writing a book on everything my mother put me thru. I am 37 with an 11 yr old girl. My mother has never wanted to do anything to help in life at all. Anytime I ever needed something told me to have one of my grandparents to get it for me, then get mad and jealous that I am there more for them then her. When I was 12 she flat out told me that she never wanted to have me but since she was 16 and our family is catholic her mother made her. Few yrs after parents divorced she wouldn't let me see my dad at all for 5 yrs. Whenever I would say I missed him or asked to see him she would get so angry with me and push me out the front door and tell me to just go there then! I was only 7 so being confused i would ask her to let me back in and she'd say I knew you dont really want to go.... I finally called him from a payphone while she was at work to come pick up at 12. When my grandparents on dads side called her to let her know I was there she was so mad she told them to keep but I couldn't have any of my belongings and they would have to get me clothes, new eye glasses and whatever. She then proceeded to tell all the family on her side how my dads side brainwashed and turned me against her and attempted to vilify me to them. Once a teenager I thought we were just going to to regular doctor visit, but no she had this look of disappointment leaving. In the car she said i had told the doctor I felt you are are unstable and crazy and they should commit you but the doctor refused because he said i was fine and just a teenager. I have always been afraid of her and she loves to involve herself in my life to control it and when I make her mad find ways to hurt me in any aspect of my life she can. Mothers are suppose to show children they are loved and are our first teachers of how to show to love to others. Teaching self worth, and that they dont deserve any one to love them. When i was even having my daughter she got me so upset the nurses told her she had to leave and wasn't allowed in my room. She involved herself in my custody case to go against me because she was upset I wasn't seeing her enough! I cut her out of our for a year after that. But i felt bad for my step-dad not seeing me and my daughter and told him if he got her to apologize I would forgive her. Plus I kept hoping she would change, be kinder and maybe finally want have a relationship. I thought she finally wanted to help me when my the car I had died and needed a new car. I have bad credit so I hope she could help find a car. She claimed she felt bad for the custody case situation and co signed a car loan with me. She offered to take care of the title stuff for new cause she had aaa I dont. She didn't have put any money down for car only used her good credit so that car payment was more reasonable. Well the car loan for car was about $15,000. When there was only around $3,000 left of loan she got upset with me and since her name is on title too she had a car key. Well while I was sleeping one days took car and refused to give back unless I paid off the rest of loan because she didn't want to be on loan with me anymore. When I said I couldn't afford to pay it all at once she sold it for about $4,000, just enough to pay off the loan. Leaving me carless with my daughter. To this day she thinks she is in the right and doesn't see anything wrong with selling car and totally screwing me

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  65. I'm the oldest of eight. My mother was certified mentally ill and probably never should have had any children. Almost every day she let us know how much she resented us. She used to say things like, "I can't do anything because of you kids," or "I can't have anything because of you kids." I got one hug from her as a child; got the next when I was in my 30s.

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  66. i am a senior citizen and yet-every day-when i see moms and adult daughters and things on facebook about loving a daughter--i get so very sad. i cannot think if one thing my mom lied about me--she would tell mr frq she could not stand the sight of me...everyone else had perfect andloving and fin daughters and i was a sin from anotherlife she was paying for. when i turned fifty-the conversation was not going well and she told me she wished she had given me up for adoption but my dad would not hear of it. i used to have an imaginary mom..so sad..and she loved me all the time. as i get older i wish i had the lovely and cozy memories of a mom that was proud of me etc..when i see or hear moms and daughters in a store or in a coffee shop--to me it is like a book or movie--i cannot relate and still wonder how i just did not figure it out...god bless all of us

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  68. Hello my name is Linda i want to share my amazing experience with the greatest spell caster Dr irekenagba. my husband was cheating on me and when i found out we had a fight which lead to him filling for a divorce i cried and fell sick when i was searching about love quotes online i saw people talking about him and his great work whose case was similar to mine they left his contact info i contacted him and he told me not to worry that after 24hrs he will cancel the divorce and be back to me after i did everything he asked me to do to my greatest surprise the next day evening it was my husband he knelt down begging me to accept him back,thank you once again Dr irekenagba you are indeed a blessing to me he can also help you contact him on........
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  69. I was married for 16 years to a loving mother and wife. We had 2 children together who are now 11 & 13. I reconnected with an old girlfriend from college on Facebook and we began an affair and I left my wife. The woman I had an affair with is a wonderful woman and I love her too and our kids had begun accepting the situation and my wife has kind of moved on, but not in love with the man she is seeing. I thought I fell out of love with my wife and I felt terrible about what I did to her - she is a good woman and I don't know what came over me. I decided to try and get her back and I was recommended to Lord Zakuza for help to get reunited with my wife and within 48 hours after I made contact with Lord Zakuza my wife decided to work things out with me and now we are back together with our children living as one happy family. I really don't know the words to use in appreciation of what Lord Zakuza did for me but I will say thank you sir for reuniting I and my family back. For those in trying times with their marriages or relationship can browse through his website via: lordzakuzaspells.com or WhatsApp Lord Zakuza for help or text with this number +1 740 573 9483 or you can send him an email to Lordzakuza7@gmail.com

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  70. I never knew there was a place like this and that there were daughters like me who grew up wondering why their mother seemed to hate them so much. I wondered for most of my life why my mother bragged on and spoiled my younger brother despite all the trouble he caused and yet was utterly dismissive and hateful towards me. She was always careful to act the perfect mom in public even while she tore me down to anyone who would listen. She would say that I had unspecified "issues" and she didn't know what to do with me because I was so "dramatic". I realize now that was so I would remain isolated and that I couldn't speak up to anyone about what was going on in our home and have them believe me. My brother could throw matches at my bedroom door and she wouldn't blink. If I used a tone she didn't like, I got slapped. My brother kicked me in the chest right in front of her, she sat there smiling at him and ignored me as I lay gasping for breath on the ground. When my alcoholic father passed away (I was 11) she moved a new bf into the house within a few weeks. When he started making passes at me, naturally it was my fault. He shoved a handful of snow into my bra and I panicked... I just reacted. I'm fairly sure I shoved him away and was knocked down and kicked to my bedroom right in front of my mother. She simply watched and then later demanded that I apologize to him and screamed at me that if he left her it would be all my fault and that she would leave and I'd never see her again. When I guidance counselor at school asked me if I had problems at home (I was very quiet and withdrawn) I said yes. I found out the following Monday that he had called my mother to confirm it and naturally she told him that there were no problems other than my dramatic tendencies. He believed her, because, like so many other people, he couldn't fathom that a mother would lie about her child. I seriously considered suicide and the only thing that stopped me from going through with it was a fear that if I didn't succeed and was only incapacitated that I would be even more at her mercy. This pattern continued throughout my life until she passed away suddenly in 2007. I have no doubt that if that hadn't happened, I'd still be under her thumb. Part of me felt sad when she passed and yet part of me felt relief, which makes me feel incredibly guilty, despite it all. To this day I feel like a freak because my own mother hated me so much.

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