Hello all. Sorry to say this may not be a post that will be beneficial to most but I am sitting here kind of stunned and thought I would reach out to this little community. By chance I had purchased a book titled, "Adult Children of Alcoholics" by Janet Woititz a few years ago. Since my mother drank a little when I was growing up, and because I am always looking for answers for why my relationship with my mother is so dysfunctional I purchased the book but never read it. Just yesterday I picked up the book and on the back cover there were a list of "symptoms" one might have if they were a child of an alcoholic. As I looked it over I felt a knot in my stomach as I realized I display pretty much every attribute of being the child of an alcoholic.
My interest piqued, I went online today to take a quiz about adult children of alcoholics and am dumbfounded that I scored 17 out of 20 questions for having the attributes of the child of an alcoholic. I am not sure what this means because I had never perceived my mother as being an alcoholic. I remember very little of my childhood, but I do remember there was a period where my mother probably drank too much. I had never thought too much of it as she never abused us or called us names as a result of drinking. In my mind I would never have identified her as being an alcoholic, so I am not sure how I have all the attributes of being the child of an alcoholic.
I have to do more research but I am kind of freaked out right now. I have always felt "different" as if I was struggling more than the average person to figure life out and I could never put my finger on it. If it turns out that, in fact, my mother's period of drinking affected me this much...I have to start from scratch. It means that all the theories I had about our relationship or lack thereof must all be washed away and I have to start over again. It means that maybe things are not as complicated between us as I had thought and maybe all the wondering and figuring out was actually quite simple-she was an alcoholic and it ruined our relationship.
Well, I have to go think, but before I do that I wanted to leave a bit of good news. I have decided to move forward with my plans to write a book about my relationship with my mother. I believe it should take no more than two years to be ready to be published. I will keep you all updated and may be reaching out to some of you for your stories or input.
Keep the faith ladies, things will get better.-Angie
